The Virtue Challenge

Can you imagine a man and woman, both striving for virtue, coming together… what chemistry! Lasting chemistry, because it is not all about emotions. But most of all, it’s not all about themselves - it's about Christ.
They have developed virtuous habits. You know that you can trust this person. They are not using you to fill insecurities or want you around because they don’t want to be alone. A virtuous person wants what is best for others and in turn finds happiness in the freedom to love and give, even to sacrifice.

The Virtue Challenge is this: Each week, there will be a men's virtue and women's virtue that is our them. Write it down, set it in stone. Put it in a place where you will see it. We will post reflections or prayers each day but on your own, try to make a list of three specific ways you are going to live out that virtue in your life. Then at the end of the week, evaluate yourself. You may even want to find a “running mate” a work-out buddy who knows the challenge you have set for yourself and holds you accountable. At the end of the week, look at what you have done to work towards your goal. Just like a runner who felt the ache of working out for the first few days – it will be hard. But once you have built endurance and stamina, you will be able to run for miles, and eventually something will feel as though it is missing if you don’t get your run in.
Good luck and God bless. My prayers are with you.

inspired by EmotionalVirtue.com

The Girls' Challenge

The Boys' Challenge

Week 1

Girls Week 3:

Put Others First.

How are you going to put others first this week?

What will YOU stand up for this week?

I don’t mean stand up against ACTA. I mean speak for the silent, the oppressed, and the broken, and do it with grace.
Who will you give a voice to?

Beloved, all that is harsh and difficult I want for myself, and all that is gentle and sweet for thee

—St. John of the Cross

Emotocoaster - Part 3

What do you do when you like a boy? Mentally stalk him, of course. You start practicing your first name with his last name, and then you visualize your first date, and finally the engagement proposal.
Then you jump online and Facebook stalk him. You look at 1,245 pictures of him, including his fishing trip with his Dad and Uncle Bill. You see who he is friends with (and cringe when you think of who he may be more than friends with), and then you do the unthinkable… you text him. After text-flirting, you flirt with him in person, and then you hit the green button on your cell phone and actually call him. You spend hours on the phone, late into the night, revealing everything about yourself, leaving out no small detail.

Next stop: physically stalking him. You have to be together, intimate, and alone all the time. You ditch your friends and spend all your time with him. We all know this usually leads to messing around and sleeping together. All of this from a little, “HI”.

Okay, let’s break this down. Mental stalking, texting, and surfing facebook can all seem harmless, but they may be serious traps, wreaking havoc on your emotional life. I have termed this cycle the “EMOTOCOASTER”. Like a rollercoaster, it looks like fun. The thrill, the speed, it’s so exhilarating… and then you get off and throw-up in front of everyone.

The Emotocoaster: Mental Stalking
The Trap: One-way relationship, building the unknown; expectations can be too high - can be creepy.

The Emotocoaster: Facebook stalking
The Trap: Getting into his personal life and making assumptions; let him tell you about himself!

The Emotocoaster: Texting
The Trap: Intimate, easily misinterpreted; easy to rationalize things as no big deal; can be addictive.

The Emotocoaster: Calling
The Trap: Stay up late; reveal a lot about yourself; no one there to hold you accountable; very private and exclusive.

The Emotocoaster: Flirting
The Trap: Attention-seeking; filling an insecurity; sending mixed messages; fake (you want him to get to know the real you!)

The Emotocoaster: Physical
The Trap: You have to be around him, no fun without him; you do things just because he does, change who you are to please him (think Runaway Bride and how she likes her eggs); emotions are so strong; start going to things just because he is there; it’s tempting to wrap yourself up in something for the wrong reasons.

So what if I told you that a guy friend of yours was bored one Saturday afternoon and decided to get on the internet and look at porn. After a few hours, your face popped into his mind; he logged onto facebook to see what your status was and gawked at your pictures. He started thinking about you and how much he wanted to be with you… then he texted you. After talking on the phone for an hour, you decide to meet up with him, and he flirts helplessly with you, until the next thing you know, he’s on top you.

How incredibly used do you feel? Think about it, reread it. Any guy who would do this to a girl, to YOU, is despicable - a jerk, and other choice words.

But wait… this looks suspiciously like the Emotocoaster… did you not just use that guy too? Mental stalking, facebook stalking, texting, calling, flirting, and getting physical were a part of both examples. Men and women are different; we all know that… but we need to realize that we both have our own versions of the Emotocoaster.

Emotocoaster - Part 2

I will be the first to tell you, I am a ROMANTIC! Romance is a good thing! Those emotions are a part of us for a reason, but they have to be ordered. Marriage is amazing, and romantic, but I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that it is also full of sacrifice, self-sacrifice, and hard work. You are constantly putting yourself last and serving others.

In thinking and praying about what I wanted to write on emotional virtue, I kept thinking about you. I kept thinking about every girl seeking her vocation, and how much I want happiness for you. I want your love story to be so beautiful, so captivating, and not full of heartache. And to be honest, I started to worry. I worry because the world likes to mess with you. Our world, and especially our media, is over-sexed, over-romanced, and over-stimulated. It’s not as if being a woman isn’t hard enough with the mix and rush of emotions we deal with! We are bombarded with images, ideas, stories, precedents, competition, and Paris Hilton.

My heart goes out to our dear friend Taylor Swift. She has an amazing voice, and I love her sound, but if you just sit and read the lyrics of her song, “Love Story,” for example, she has some major emotional issues! Think about some of your favorite chick flicks, they are funny and romantic, but also a little disordered, are they not? You take a step back and somehow find yourself rooting for adultery, or when they sleep together, we say it’s not that big of a deal because it was “romantic,” right? Did you ever notice that chick flicks always seem to end right before they get married, right before the true test begins? Everything is so emotionally charged! Think about Twilight, The Notebook, The Bachelor/The Bachelorette, Top Model, Glee, etc. You can’t get away from it!

Have you ever watched a chick-flick and then turned the tv off and said, “Well, I feel worthless,” and then you are depressed for the rest of the night? You say to yourself, “How long do I have to wait for my “Mr. Right” to come along!” You mope around, start daydreaming, listen to music, wait, complain to friends, wait, swoon over movie stars, and wait. Then you see him, some guy you are remotely attracted to. He says, “Hi” - Oh my gosh, this is it!

This is NOT emotional chastity.

(Source: emotionalvirtue.com)

Allow the repetition of the Rosary to become a sort of lullaby of love and praise that enables your mind to rest and your heart to become quiet and still.” — Author Unknown
Allow the repetition of the Rosary to become a sort of lullaby of love and praise that enables your mind to rest and your heart to become quiet and still.”

— Author Unknown

(via thefullnessofthefaith)

Emotocoaster - Part 1

The Emotocoaster

It can be hard to not be completely obsessed with finding Mr. Right. It has a tendency to consume you. All the emotions, frustrations, hopes, and disappointments can be overwhelming, to say the least. As a married woman, having walked through that fire, I am on a personal mission to help figure this out!

I want to warn you that I hope you are not looking for the perfect person… he does not exist. You are not perfect and your spouse will not expect you to be. What you are looking for is the perfect person for you! We all bear the battle wounds of “life,” but the worst thing you can do is say, “I didn’t start doing this whole chastity thing from the beginning. Therefore, I am too far gone… I can’t start over now.” You have to forgive yourself. Maybe it is a second virginity you’re looking for? You’ve fallen into a dark time and lost your virginity. Going to God for forgiveness and forgiving yourself is healing; you can have second virginity and you can make that commitment today, to wait for your spouse. I have friends who have made this commitment, and it has changed their lives.

Maybe it’s a second emotional virginity that you’re looking for, and you want to take steps to guard your heart for Mr. Right? No matter what it is you are seeking regarding chastity and virtue, it all starts inside YOU. You control your heart, soul, and mind. It is yours to protect, and one day, it will be yours to give.

(Source: emotionalvirtue.com)